The reality in Bangkok set in with my first meeting with other patients of Dr. Chettawut. Then came the operation. The following 2 to 3 days was a kind of half-sleeping, half-awake nightmare.
This was followed by 5 more days spent mostly in bed. The support and care that was given by Nut and Jun was great and was a central part of the experience. Some called them angels. I spent the many hours in my room reading and listening to my favorite music with my earphones on. Going down for something to eat was so exhausting that I slept for 2 hours afterwards. But, once in a while, other TSs would come by to visit. When I had the energy, I would go down to the lobby to check my email and there would always be another TS sitting there who wanted to talk and share experiences, just like me. The last 5 days in Bangkok were great. I enjoyed driving through the city in a taxi to see the beautiful Palace Wat Phra Kao.
Coming home was great, too. Previously, I had experienced feelings of insecurity and fears of social exclusion that had kept me from being me. Now, things are different. It has been such a joy to experience the support that has been shown me. At the annual pre-Christmas dinner at work, many people commented on how feminine I had become after my operation. It was my lifelong dream come true, to be praised for my feminine appearance.
Now the results of the operation have settled. My jaw, chin, nose, and forehead have become the way I had hoped. I no longer see this strange man looking back at me in the mirror. Now I see myself, a woman. People on the street do, too, and they react that way: Nobody stares at me like they used to.
Elizabeth |
